IQ Got You Here, EQ Keeps You Here

How have I got to where I am today? Do I have a really high IQ? Well, I'd say I'm intelligent, academic to a point... but I'm not the kind of person who sits there solving equations for fun. I'm an all-rounder. I know a bit about this, a bit about that, and I've always been able to join the dots. And yet, throughout my career, I've managed to be hugely successful.

In the RAF, I received a commendation for, of all things, thinking on my feet. In my corporate leadership career, I thrived because I could work out what was needed and when. And in the businesses I've built, it's been about big-picture thinking, relating to people, reading the room, and adapting. None of this is rocket science. It's self-awareness, emotional intelligence, intuition, and, dare I say, good old-fashioned common sense.

IQ vs EQ: The Real Difference

When we talk about intelligence, most people immediately think of IQ, the traditional measure of cognitive ability. It's shorthand for being "clever": logical reasoning, problem-solving, memory, and analytical skills. For decades, IQ was seen as the ultimate predictor of success. Schools, universities, and workplaces used it as a benchmark to sort the "capable" from the "less capable". If you scored high, you were expected to thrive.

IQ alone doesn't explain why some people with average intelligence build extraordinary careers, while others with off-the-charts IQ plateau or burn out. Daniel Goleman popularised the concept in the 1990s, arguing that our ability to understand and manage emotions is just as critical, if not more so, than raw brainpower. It was a radical idea at the time, but the research has held up.

Think of it this way:

• IQ might get you the role. EQ determines how long you'll keep it.

• IQ solves problems. EQ solves people.

Here's what that looks like in practice:

• IQ in action: You design a brilliant business strategy, perfectly costed and bulletproof on paper.

• EQ in action: You communicate it in a way that inspires your team to actually deliver it.

• IQ in action: You're the smartest person in the room and can spot flaws instantly.

• EQ in action: You know how to point them out without crushing people's confidence.

• IQ in action: You solve a technical issue in record time.

• EQ in action: You notice the junior team member who feels sidelined and bring them into the solution.

Both matter. But without EQ, IQ risks being wasted talent. I've worked with leaders across industries, and I've seen the divide first-hand.

• The leader with a razor-sharp intellect who could deconstruct a P&L in minutes...but couldn't hold onto good people because they lacked empathy.

• The leader who wasn't the "smartest" in the academic sense, but had extraordinary emotional radar, they knew when to push, when to pause, when to listen, and they built loyalty that drove results.

Time and again, it's EQ that separates the leaders people have to follow from the leaders people want to follow.

The Numbers Behind It

Research backs this up. Studies show:

• EQ accounts for nearly 90% of what sets high performers apart from their peers* in leadership roles.

• People with high EQ are more adaptable, resilient, and effective under pressure.

• Teams led by emotionally intelligent leaders consistently report higher engagement, lower turnover, and better performance.

IQ matters, of course. No one wants a leader who can't grasp the basics. But it's EQ that unlocks the human side of leadership, and that's where the real difference lies.

The Five Elements of EQ (Daniel Goleman)

EQ isn't one skill, it's five interconnected behaviours that shape how you lead, how you connect, and how others experience you. On their own, each one matters. But when they work together, you don't just manage, you inspire.

1. Self-Awareness

This is the foundation. If you don't understand yourself, you'll struggle to understand anyone else. It's knowing your emotional triggers, recognising your strengths and blind spots, and being honest about how you show up in a room. It's also about understanding the impact of your words and actions.

Self-Awareness: The Hardest Easy Thing
On the surface, self-awareness looks simple: "know yourself". But real self-awareness runs deeper. It's about being able to say:

• "This is how I feel."

• "This is why I feel it."

• "And this is how my response might affect others."

That last point is where the work lies. Because honesty without awareness can do as much harm as dishonesty. You might feel frustrated with a colleague and want to blurt out your thoughts. But self-awareness is pausing to ask:

• "What's my intent here?"

• "If I say this, will it build trust or break it?"

• "Am I solving a problem, or just venting frustration?"

The balance between being authentic and being considerate is the hardest easy thing in leadership. And then there's the self-awareness gap, the difference between how you see yourself and how others experience you.

• You think you're "assertive". They see "aggressive".

• You think you're "approachable". They see "unavailable".

• You think you're "calm under pressure". They see "tense and withdrawn".

This gap can derail careers, because people don't follow who you think you are, they follow how you show up.

2. Self-Regulation

We all get frustrated, stressed, or anxious. The difference is whether you let those emotions spill over, or whether you choose how to respond.

Self-regulation isn't about bottling emotions. It's about creating space between the trigger and the reaction. Example: Instead of firing off a defensive email in the heat of the moment, you pause, breathe, and respond thoughtfully. That pause often changes everything.

Leaders who regulate well build consistency. People know where they stand with you. That stability creates trust.

3. Motivation

Not all motivation is equal. True leadership motivation goes beyond pay rises, bonuses, or external validation. It's about being driven by purpose, vision, and values.

Leaders high in EQ keep going when the quick wins aren't there. They focus on the bigger picture and bring people along with them. Example: When a project hits obstacles, a motivated leader doesn't just chase short-term fixes. They reconnect the team to why the work matters and keep energy alive. This is what turns persistence into progress.

4. Empathy

Empathy isn't just 'being nice.' It's the ability to step into someone else's shoes, to understand their perspective, especially when it's different from your own. It's noticing when someone is unusually quiet in a meeting. It's hearing not just what's said, but what isn't. It's understanding that your team member's anger might actually be fear.

In practice, empathy allows you to build trust quickly, diffuse conflict, and create an environment where people feel valued. Without it, leaders can appear cold or disconnected. With it, they unlock loyalty and performance.

5. Social Skills

This is where it all comes together. Social skills are about using your awareness, regulation, motivation, and empathy to connect and influence effectively. It's not about being the loudest voice or the most charismatic. It's about building authentic relationships, navigating conflict, and knowing when to persuade, when to listen, and when to step back. Example: In a tough boardroom negotiation, leaders with strong social skills don't bulldoze or withdraw. They find the balance, creating space for dialogue, while keeping everyone moving forward.

When They Work Together

Each element is powerful on its own. But when they combine, something bigger happens.

A self-aware leader regulates emotions, stays motivated by purpose, understands others deeply, and builds the kind of trust that drives performance. That's when leadership shifts from managing tasks to inspiring people.

How to Improve Your EQ

Unlike IQ, which is fairly fixed, EQ can be strengthened. Here's how:

• Seek Honest Feedback
  Ask trusted peers how you really come across. Listen without defending yourself.

• Pause Before Responding
  Build the habit of leaving space between trigger and response.

• Practice Active Listening
  Listen to understand, not to reply. Repeat back what you've heard.

• Build Empathy Muscles
  In conflict, ask: "What might this look like from their side?"

• Reflect Daily
  Journaling or short end-of-day reviews help spot emotional patterns.

• Strengthen Intuition
  Pay attention to your gut, then test it against evidence. Over time, your instincts sharpen.

Why This Matters Now More Than Ever

The world we lead in today is noisier, faster, and more distracting than ever.

• News cycles are designed to inflame, not inform.

• Social media feeds are curated to provoke reaction, not reflection.

• nline highlight reels present lives and careers that look effortless, flawless, and unreal.

We know it isn't the full picture, our instincts whisper that much. But repeated exposure has power. When you see the same polished storylines again and again, part of you starts to believe it's real. That's when comparison creeps in. That's when doubt takes root. That's when leaders start measuring themselves against illusions. And here's the danger: leaders who get swept up in the noise stop leading. They start reacting. They chase trends, follow crowds, and make decisions from a place of fear rather than clarity.

That's why EQ, and especially self-awareness, is non-negotiable in leadership today.

• It grounds you.
  Self-awareness reminds you of your values, your triggers, and your purpose.

• It gives perspective.
  Empathy helps you see beyond your own view and understand what's really happening with others.

• It acts as a compass.
  Self-regulation keeps you steady in the storm, so you respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.

• It builds resilience.
  Motivation helps you push forward when quick wins aren't there.

• It keeps you human.
  Social skills ensure you connect rather than isolate.

Together, EQ skills help you cut through the noise, trust your instincts, and apply common sense. Because leadership isn't about being the loudest voice in a crowded room. It's about being the steady one when others are spinning. It's about being courageous enough to step away from the noise, to challenge the herd mentality, and to model a different way forward. Leaders cannot afford to be sheep. Not now, not ever.

Final Thought

The most effective leaders I've worked with weren't always the ones with the highest IQ. They were the ones who:

• Truly knew themselves.

• Took time to understand others.

• Adapted with humility and empathy.

• Spoke with honesty, but measured the impact of their words.

Self-awareness is the anchor. Emotional intelligence is the sail. Together, they carry you further than raw intellect ever could. And in a world overflowing with noise, distraction, and performance, it's these very human skills that set great leaders apart, the skills that build trust, resilience, and lasting influence.