The Hit, the Sink, and the Reset: Why Gen X Leaders Need to Rethink Ambition

I’m a Gen Xer. For most of my career, I lived by a very specific, unspoken ruleset: you work hard, you climb the ladder, you get the reward. Rinse and repeat.

For years, I was essentially a "hit" chaser. I’d set a target: a promotion, a specific salary figure, a prestigious award: and I’d sprint towards it with everything I had. And when I got there? The feeling was incredible. For about five minutes.

I call it "The Hit." It’s that surge of dopamine that makes you feel invincible. But here’s the thing about the hit: it’s always followed by "The Sink."

The Dopamine Treadmill

If you’ve ever reached a massive milestone only to wake up the next morning feeling oddly empty, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You get the wage rise, you buy the thing, you celebrate the title change. Then, within a week (or a month, if you're lucky), the new reality becomes the "new normal." The excitement evaporates, the sink sets in, and suddenly you’re looking for the next mountain to climb just to feel that spark again.

I spent years in this cycle. I earned the "big money," landed the senior roles, and ticked the boxes. Yet, I kept finding myself sitting at my desk wondering, Is this actually it? Why does "enough" always feel like it’s just one more promotion away?

It wasn't until I came across Daniel Pink’s work: specifically his book Drive: that the scales finally fell from my eyes. I realised I’d been operating on an outdated operating system. I was using Motivation 2.0 (carrots and sticks) in a world that requires Motivation 3.0.

Pink argues that for the kind of complex, creative work we do as leaders, traditional rewards don’t just fail; they can actually make us less effective. What we actually crave: what actually sustains us: are three things: Autonomy, Mastery, and Purpose.

Realising I’d Got It All Wrong

When I sat down and really looked at those three pillars, I had to be honest with myself. I’d been sacrificing all of them in exchange for the "hit."

I thought I wanted the big job. What I actually wanted was Autonomy.
I thought I wanted the status. What I actually wanted was Mastery.
I thought I wanted the win. What I actually wanted was Purpose.

Let’s break down how shifting those priorities changed everything for me: and why it might be the missing piece for your own development.

1. Autonomy: The Power of Choice

Autonomy is the desire to direct our own lives. In my corporate life, I had "authority," but I didn't have true autonomy. I was still beholden to boards, to rigid structures, and to a version of success that wasn't entirely mine.

The realization was so profound that it eventually led me to leave the security of my career to start One Feather Coaching. I didn't just want a different job; I wanted the freedom to decide how I work, when I work, and who I work with.

Ask yourself: How much of your daily schedule do you actually control? If you’re feeling burnt out, it’s often not the workload that’s the problem: it’s the lack of agency over it.

2. Purpose: Beyond the Bottom Line

We are purpose-seeking creatures. We want to know that what we do matters to someone, somewhere. When I was chasing the hit, my purpose was largely self-serving: my promotion, my bonus, my recognition.

When I started my business, I knew I needed to bake purpose into the DNA of the company. That’s why we committed to giving 10% of our time back through volunteering and pro-bono work. It’s not just a "nice to do"; it’s a fundamental part of why I get out of bed. It provides a level of sustained energy that a quarterly bonus never could.

3. Mastery: The Hard Truth

Mastery is the urge to get better and better at something that matters. This is where I had to get really vulnerable.

By nature, I’m a bit of a "Jack of all trades." I’m a generalist, which, in executive coaching UK, is actually a superpower. It allows me to see the big picture and connect dots that others miss. But I also realised I was using my generalist nature as a shield to avoid the hard work of deep mastery in areas where I felt "poor" or fearful.

Nothing is Mastered by Wishing

We’ve all been there. We look at a skill: maybe it’s public speaking, financial strategy, or difficult conversations: and we wish we were better at it. We might even buy a book about it. But mastery doesn't happen by osmosis.

Mastery is a mindset. It’s the recognition that you are never "done." It requires the humility to be a beginner again. Currently, I’m leaning into a skill I’ve historically been fearful of. I’m putting in the hours, feeling the discomfort, and embracing the "clunkiness" of learning.

Why? Because the pursuit of being better is infinitely more rewarding than the pursuit of being finished.

Are You Still Chasing the Hit?

If you’re reading this and nodding along, there’s a good chance you’ve recognised the cycle in your own life. You’ve reached the "pinnacle," and yet, you’re looking around thinking, Is this it?

If you’re constantly chasing the next thing, only to feel that familiar sinking feeling once you grab it, it’s a sign. It means you haven't yet reached the point of understanding what actually drives you.

We often think that leadership coaching is about getting to the next level of the career ladder. And sure, we do that. But the real work: the work that actually changes your life: is about shifting from external validation to internal drive.

It’s about moving from:

• Compliance to Engagement

• Status to Mastery

• Profit to Purpose

Final Thought

As Gen X leaders, we were raised in a "hustle" culture that valued the trophy over the journey. We were taught that if we didn't feel satisfied, we just needed a bigger trophy.

But the "sink" is telling you something important. It’s telling you that your soul is hungry for something the "hit" can’t provide.

What would happen if you stopped wishing yourself better and started doing the work of mastery? What would happen if you prioritised your own autonomy over someone else’s approval?

You don't have to stay on the treadmill. There is a different way to lead, and a different way to live.

Are you ready to design your next chapter, rather than just drifting into it?

If you're looking to regain your clarity and confidence, let's talk. Whether it's through 1:1 executive coaching or our RESET programme, we help leaders like you move beyond the "hit" and into a career (and life) defined by true drive.